life. faithful.

 There's a relatively new song that gets played on K~LOVE quite a bit. It is called, "God, Turn it Around," by John Reddick. It's a simple, catchy tune that I've found myself singing a lot since it was first released last year. There's always been something about it that has bothered me just a bit, though, and until this morning I wasn't exactly sure what it was. The lyrics basically amount to this: I'm praying God come And turn this thing around God, turn it around I'm calling on the name That changes everything, yes All of my hope Is in the name The name of Jesus Breakthrough will come Come in the name The name of Jesus He is up to something God is doing something right now He is healing someone He is saving someone God is doing something right now He is moving mountains Making a way for someone God is doing something right now   I've left out a decent amount of the repetition, but you get the picture. Great song, right? The thi...

Have you ever prayed for rescue? I don't mean a nice, neat, "Dear God, please help me get through..." prayer wrapped up with a pretty "Amen." I'm talking about a gut-wrenching, tears streaming, no real words forming type of prayer, one without any real sentences and that's poured out in between sobs. I've cried and begged, full of the knowledge of God's power. I know that He is the One who has the ability to control everything that happens around me. If He can speak this universe with all its intricacies into existence, it would be simple for Him to put a stop to whatever it is I'm needing to be rescued from--whether it is physical, emotional, financial, or psychological. I know that He can reach down and pull me out of any bad situation, so I pour out my heart to Him through one of those ugly cries, begging for Him to take away the pain. And if God hears me, if He is truly listening and if He's truly good, He'll swoop in and res...

God, this world--our country--is a mess. We look around and can't help but see the bad. Hate-filled words are thrown out. I wish I could say it is done without thought, but it isn't. Those words, filled with venom, are spit out with the sole purpose of hurting people, creating wounds that cut all the way to the heart. Natural disasters wipe out years of hard work, leaving people homeless--but more devastatingly, hopeless. Wicked men kill innocents, and while so many lives are snuffed out in the blink of an eye, countless other lives are turned inside-out and upside down. Right is called wrong, and people try to justify evil. Things are falling apart all around us. Dreams are shattered, families are broken, hopes are lost...the future seems to be fading right before our eyes. Father, please pull us--Your children--close to You. Let us feel Your arms around us so that we are reminded of You in the middle of the mess. Let us see Your strength, even as we're remi...

" Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. (This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.) So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one You love is sick.” When He heard this, Jesus said, 'This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.' Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when He heard that Lazarus was sick, He stayed where He was two more days, and then He said to His disciples, 'Let us go back to Judea.'" (Matthew 11: 1-7) When Jesus heard that Lazarus was dying, according to our logic He should have immediately gone to heal him. After all, Jesus loved Lazarus, Mary, & Martha. If you love somebody, you want what's best for them. And of course, obviously what was best for Lazarus was to be healed...right? Or at le...

I'm praying one of the hardest prayers for a control freak like me to pray. I say praying, because it's not a “one and done” kind of prayer. It's one of those prayers that I'll have to repeat time and time again—not because I think I need to repeat it for God's sake, but because it will take repetition to get it through my own thick skull and heavily guarded heart. God, let my pride take a backseat to Your purpose. Since I was little, I've wanted God to use me. I listened to missionaries talk about their time in exotic countries; I worked VBS on a regular basis; I went on mission trips with the KS-NE Acteens to Wyoming and Tennessee. I dreamed of being the one in the field, of living in a grass hut somewhere far away, of having a Story (with a capital S) and doing the Hard Things. I wanted--still want--the adventures. The thing is, not everyone does the big things. Sometimes, the hard thing is to be right here in the middle of your own story (l...

What you're about to read wasn't written for this blog. It is a prayer, my private attempt to work through my confusion and fears and questions. In the interest of being transparent on this blog, it's presented here just the same way that it's written in my notebook. I'm putting this here because--just maybe--somebody out there is struggling with the same things. And maybe, when you see my struggles laid out--my heart laid bare before God and now you--you'll at least see that you're not alone. "When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die." ~Dietrich Bonhoeffer God, You know my heart. You know my longings and desires better than I do, because You're the One who made me. I dream of doing what I consider "big things" for You, things that I think will matter. I think it's my pride, this crazy thought that somehow I'm supposed to do more , that You've made me to do something more than just exist in this life...