life. faithful.

  Here in my little corner of the woods, the election yesterday left us facing a lot of uncertainty. It leaves us with a ton of questions about the future, both immediate and long term, and it affects a lot of the people I care about. There are a whole lot of people facing choices they never intended to make. When you're in the middle of uncertainty, the questions seem to hang over your head like storm clouds. Your thoughts race, but they are just circling the same things over and over. It's hard to focus on anything else, despite the fact that the rest of the world with all its problems just keeps right along spinning. But God is still good, and God is still in control. No matter what life throws at you, that doesn't change. So I'm sharing my prayer, hoping that if it is your prayer, too, you may find it helpful. *** God, My mind is racing right now, but my thoughts aren't making any progress. I know you are in control. I can look back through the years and see wit...

Growing up, I took French all the way through school and on into college. In elementary school it was because it was available--the high school French teacher would visit the elementary classes once a week and do mini lessons, mostly greetings and counting. In high school and college, though, I continued taking French for one very specific reason: it was a language spoken across Africa in many different countries, and I thought one day I would find myself in that mission field, living in a village way off the map, teaching about Jesus. I loved missions. I drank up any story I could find about people who had spent time in missions. I loved when missionaries would visit our church. I loved hearing their stories about when they first realized God was calling them to the mission field, to a life following Him across the world. I just knew that one day I would stand before a church and share the story of how I was called and how I followed God on an amazing adventure to the middle of nowher...

 Thomas...oh, Thomas. His life as a follower of Yeshua is so often overshadowed by the title, "Doubting Thomas," due to his insistence on needing to see for himself the proof that his Messiah had risen from the dead. Yet here he is, shown in a very different light. Jesus was telling His friends that they were about to head back to Judea, the place where the people had already tried to kill Him at least twice. Thomas tried to be the voice of reason--"Hey, um... the last time You were there, they tried to stone You to death, remember?" Yet despite the reminder, Jesus was choosing to go back. We remember him for his doubt, but here we have a very clear picture of a different side of Thomas: "Let’s go so we can die with Him." (John 11:16) Too often in the United States, we forget that followers of Christ are not promised a life of ease. In fact, the Jewish Messiah we follow--the One who was despised and rejected by the very people He came to save--promised the...

 More--do more, be more, have more. It's all around us all the time, pushing us to push harder, that constant feeling that it's simply not enough . Do you hear that voice in the back of your head like I do? Call it perfectionism, imposter syndrome... or just be honest and call it insecurity. The feeling that I'm just not enough is something I've dealt with my whole life. Every grade, every project, should have been better. Every meal cooked or room cleaned. Every important conversation with one of my kids. Every gift given. Every accolade won. Every promise made. All of it should have somehow been more... I should somehow be more, fit more into every day, figure out how to give my kids more. I should be able to be the best at work and give more, then turn around and be the best at home and make sure my house looks like the magazines (or at least like a tornado hasn't just come through the living room), then keep the farm running. I should be able to find a way to h...

 Dear God, I'll be honest--this world my kids are in? It's a hard place. There's so much darkness and it seems to be growing. It's nothing like the world I expected to be raising my kids in and nothing like the world I was used to. Hatred and division is running rampant and somehow it is all around the world all at the same time. Confusion and fear are widespread and it seems like that's all that's being pushed. I can't help but see glimpses of Revelation in the world, and it worries me. Not because I'm worried about the ultimate outcome--You've known the end since the beginning, and You hold everything in Your hand. But somehow while I know that, I have a hard time entrusting my kids to You. It doesn't make sense, I know. Logically I understand that they are Yours and that You love them so much more than I could ever imagine. But You know that control issue thing that I have? It kicks in pretty hard when it comes to my kids, and it's incredi...

We hear it all the time-- "Speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have." ~Oprah Winfrey “You know the truth by the way it feels.” ~Anonymous “Live authentically. Live your truth.” ~Neale Donald Walsch “Face your fears; Live your passions, be dedicated to your truth.” ~Billie Jean King “You don’t need to get anyone else to agree with your truth. You just need to live it.” ~Alan Cohen I could keep going, but honestly it's a little depressing to me. It seems like the whole world is telling us that there's only one thing that matters: each of us is supposed to be true to whatever we feel like is the truth for us. We see it in the media, we're bombarded with it by self-help gurus, and we're passing it on to our children in the message that our entire goal is to make sure they have happy lives. But here's another quote: " The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it emoti...

We are living in strange times. I never imagined that the world would be in such a state of lockdown, and I honestly don't understand what we're seeing. Things don't make sense, and it's easy to get lost in a state of fear and confusion. We don't know what tomorrow is going to bring, let alone how life is going to look in a month's time. There are so many unknowns that most of the time I don't even know where to start listing them. Fear is a crazy thing. It's one of those feelings that starts a spiral--a little bit leads to more and more, and before you know it your mind is consumed with it. You start to lose sight of all the blessings and promises and get pulled down so far into the dark that you start thinking the light is gone for good. Despite the unknowns in the world around us right now, all of this is known to God. He knows exactly how things are going to turn out, and He hasn't forgotten us or left us to fend for ourselves. After a...

The Israelites had just experienced the impossible. Never mind the escape from Egypt, the parting of the sea, the food falling from the sky in the wilderness...or a whole host of other ways God's power had been shown. After all, we're 40 years removed from those times. This time, they had walked around Jericho for a week and then watched the walls fall. They'd been able to rush in and wipe out the entire city. They were told to burn everything except the metal. As an aside, there's a thought now that there was likely a plague in Jericho. If that were the case, it would definitely explain the importance of everything being destroyed and burned... The wall of Jericho wasn't some dinky thing. It was 5-6 ft thick and ranged from 12-17 ft high. The whole thing was surrounded by a ditch that had been dug out of solid rock, a pit that was 9 ft deep and 27 ft wide. Obviously, they would have been on top of the world after that. They could accomplish anything! So wh...

When we first moved to the farm, I tried to grow a garden. I had big plans for fresh veggies, and I planted a lot: tomatoes, peppers, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, and honeydew. The lady we bought the property from had scattered seed for lettuce. I harvested a handful of tomatoes, a single head of broccoli, maybe two honeydews, and a lot of the lettuce...the one thing that I didn't plant. I guess I should have known how it would work out. When I was in school I helped my mom plant flower bulbs along our front walk. Not a single thing that I planted even so much as sprouted. Mom told me that I have a "black thumb" instead of a green thumb...so there's that. It hasn't changed a lot as I've gotten older. I killed a cactus. I've had a peace lily and a pothos both die at my hand (yes, I know--the easiest house plants to grow). I don't know a whole lot about growing plants, but I do know one thing: if you want a plant to grow, you need to water it. ...

Dear God, I hear You--really, I do. I'm sorry that I haven't been listening, but thank You for repeating Yourself over and over (and over...) so that it finally got through my thick skull. Remember, I tend to be a " lesson from a 2x4 " girl. The subtle stuff tends to get lost on me, even though it would be a lot easier if I could just learn to hear You when You whisper. You keep telling me to let go, and I don't know why I find that so incredibly hard to do. Everything and everyone around me lately is reminding me that I need to stop worrying and start trusting. I know You're greater than anything I can imagine. I know that Your promises are true. I know all the right words and all the Sunday School answers... ...but I've realized that I must not truly know You, because I haven't been truly trusting You. If I knew You, I would know that my fears are pointless and unfounded. I would know that You have me --You've written me on the palms...

The first time I ever remember Pop getting mad at me, I was sitting in a tree. I can't tell you exactly how old I was, but it was early elementary school some time. I was on a limb, wanting to get down, so Pop reached up for me and told me to jump. I wouldn't. He kept telling me to jump, assuring me that he would catch me--I had nothing to worry about. All I needed to do was let go of the limb and push myself forward. Instead, I was in tears, sitting in a tree. No matter how many times Pop assured me that he would catch me, I couldn't do it. He had never let me down, never given me a reason to think he would let me fall. I couldn't just trust him. Trust. That's something I still struggle with, despite all my efforts. I know that God is worthy of my trust. I know His promises are true, and that when His word says that He guides my steps--well, that's true, too. The problem is, I just can't get my feelings to line up with my knowledge. We just fin...