life. faithful.

So, somehow it seems fitting that I got lost in the busy-ness of the day yesterday and missed posting about Bonnie Gray's new book, Whispers of Rest, on launch day. That definitely wasn't my intention; I was going to be on top of things and make sure I did just what needed to be done exactly when I needed to do it. Because, you see, that's how I want to present myself to the world. I want everybody to see that I have it all together, that I accomplish what I set out to do. I want to be seen as capable, dependable, and reliable. I want people to see the well-developed persona that I've put together, that one that can handle anything and everything that gets thrown my way. As much as I want people to see me that way, I also try to show God that same mask. I posted a while back about Bonnie's first book, Finding Spiritual Whitespace . If you haven't read it, it comes highly recommended. I read it quickly, devouring every page. I wrote in the margins, und...

"I still remember the way you clung to Me in your youth; in the early days of our union. Like a young bride, you loved the vows you made." ~Jeremiah 2:2b Newlyweds. Everything they find out about each other is exciting and new. They can even be annoying with all the crazy things they point out about each other, the things that would drive any sane person up the wall but that are somehow "so cute" in the early days. They want nothing more than being together--the rest of the world could fade away and they wouldn't mind. In fact, they would just about prefer it if that would happen. All they need is their love for each other. And then they start spending less time focusing on that love. Life starts getting in the way--the kids, the jobs, the money issues, the dreams they wanted to pursue but aren't realistic now--and, though it happens without conscious thought, they drift apart. It's not that the relationship becomes unimportant--it's j...

"But Mom..." How many time have you either said or heard those words? They're usually only partially decipherable, stretched out and masked with a whine. Typically, they come about because the Mom in question didn't give the speaker what he or she wanted, holding her ground about something. If we're honest, it's usually something Mom's right about--though when you're the one asking, that's hard to see and admit. How often do our prayers sound like that? How often do we plead with God to just do what we want Him to do? We may not use the words, but I wonder if God hears our prayers sometimes start off with "But God..." poured out in a whine? Of course, the words probably sound different. We tend to fill our prayers with pretty words, as if our choice of words will be the deciding factor in whether or not we talk God into answering our prayers the way we want Him to. Do you think that sometimes we just sound like little kids tryi...

I like a good debate. A good debate gets people thinking. It makes them dig deep and really focus on what they think about a topic and why they think that way. It gets you to truly listen to someone who is one a different side of the issue and lets you hear their point of view. To have a good debate, you have to understand your opponent. You have to be able to see where they are coming from so that you can present logical, well thought out arguments in the hopes of getting the other person to start seeing your side of the issue just a little bit more. A good debate challenges those involved, both the people actually debating and those who are simply observing the debate. The problem is, right now we aren't seeing good debates. Instead, our world is full of people whose idea of debate is pointing fingers, slinging insults, and pouring hatred into already tense situations. People get on facebook to "debate" an issue with people they know nothing about, yet it seems lik...

What you're about to read wasn't written for this blog. It is a prayer, my private attempt to work through my confusion and fears and questions. In the interest of being transparent on this blog, it's presented here just the same way that it's written in my notebook. I'm putting this here because--just maybe--somebody out there is struggling with the same things. And maybe, when you see my struggles laid out--my heart laid bare before God and now you--you'll at least see that you're not alone. "When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die." ~Dietrich Bonhoeffer God, You know my heart. You know my longings and desires better than I do, because You're the One who made me. I dream of doing what I consider "big things" for You, things that I think will matter. I think it's my pride, this crazy thought that somehow I'm supposed to do more , that You've made me to do something more than just exist in this life...

We live in a world that is constantly pointing out all of our failures, telling us, like Ghandi said, "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ." When we're being reminded of how we fall short, how we don't measure up, it's easy to start feeling ashamed and guilty. It's easy to look in the mirror and see all your flaws, just like it's easy to look at how the world sees you and start seeing only the negative. Look closer, though, and you'll see something amazing. You'll see someone who is imperfect, yes, someone who fails God on a daily basis. But more importantly than that, you'll see someone whose every flaw--every sin--has been covered by grace. You'll see someone who can stand before God not in their own right, but in the redemptive light of the Son of God. You'll see someone who fails God on a daily, but you'll also see someone who tries on a daily basis. You'll see someone ...

It's easy to get discouraged in this world when we look around ad see everything falling down. It seems like the foundation of everything good has been shaken. The wicked are attacking, working in the shadows to try to take down the remnant who still follow God. "'If the foundations are crumbling, is there hope for the righteous?'" ~Psalm 11:3 Sometimes, it feels like we have no hope. And we would be hopeless--if it weren't for God. No matter how the world is falling apart around us, the righteous still have hope. That's because we are not righteous in our own power or by our own doing, but because we are covered by the blood of the only One who is righteous, Jesus. We have hope because our righteousness is wrapped up in His, sealed by His victory over death and the grave. We have hope because our Foundation is God, and He is never shaken. "But the Eternal has not moved; He remains in His holy temple. He sits squarely on His he...

Sorrow is a heavy burden, one which is quite often carried alone. Even in the midst of family and friends, one person's grief is so individual--so unique to that person--that it can't be shared with someone else in its entirety. When our hearts are breaking, and no one understands, it is easy to feel completely alone. Abandoned. Like the psalmist, we say, "For my days come and go, vanishing like smoke, and my bones are charred like bricks of a hearth. My heart is beaten down like grass withered and scorched in the summer heat; I can't even remember to eat. My body is shaken by my groans; my bones cling to my skin, holding on for dear life. I am like a solitary owl in the wilderness; I am a lost and lonely screech owl at home in the rubble. I stare at the ceiling, awake in my bed; I am alone, a defenseless sparrow perched on a roof." ~Psalm 102:4-7 Grief is a terrible burden to bear. It can bring us to our knees, break our hearts, and crush...

Sometimes, we fall into the trap of thinking we have it all together. When life is easy, we think we know all the right answers. Like David, we say,  "When things were quiet and life was easy, I said in arrogance, 'Nothing can shake me.' By Your grace, Eternal, I thought I was as strong as a mountain" ~Psalm 30:6-7a From that lofty position, it's easy to look down on others and point out everything they are doing wrong, all the ways they are failing. After all, if I have it all together in my own power, doesn't that just make them weak if they can't do the same? The thing is, that's forgetting four key words from David's psalm: By Your grace, Eternal . No matter what good I have in this life, it's through no strength or power of my own. Sometimes, though, I lose sight of that. It's in those times, I think, that God obscures my view of Him. Again like David, I say, "But when You left my side and hid away, I crumbled...

For a long time now, I've begged to know God's purpose for my life. My own plans have fallen through so many times--plans that I thought were God's will for my future--that sometimes I wonder if I'm going to drift through life without ever truly finding the path He wants me on (for more on that, check out Walking with Peter ). As followers of the Messiah, we hear so much about God's will. We're reminded time and again that we need to be doing His will: ~"Whoever does the will of God is My true family." ~Mark 3:35 ~"...that you will continue to mature and stand tall in the confidence that comes from knowing God's will." ~Colossians 4:12b We hear all the time about people claiming God's promise to give them the desires of their heart, but something I've been struggling with lately is knowing whether my desires are desires God has given me, or just earthly desires. In 1 Peter 4:1-2, we're told, "Since the Anointed s...