life. faithful.

Nine years ago today, I was in the middle of all this:   I would say it was a typical August day in northwest Arkansas, but according to weather underground it was a much cooler than normal 75-degree day. Evil doesn't rest, though, and tragedy strikes even in the midst of joy and beauty. Around 7,000 miles away on the other side of the world, my brother was killed. Look over here if you want to read that story, because this one takes a little different turn. Fast forward a few weeks, to when the shock was starting to wear off. My brother was gone, and I was mad. Not at the war or at the man who killed him--war brings death as part of its natural order, and the man who shot my brother was, to me anyway, like him in the fact that he was a soldier--albeit the enemy--fighting for his beliefs. I wasn't mad at God, not really. Pop was. He had made a promise that he would never talk to God again if He ever took one of us kids, and for a while that was the case....

It's easy to get too busy--believe me, I know! With a husband and kids and school and laundry and cooking and writing and...everything else, sometimes life is just plain crazy. I look at everything I have to get done, and I know I could never fit a single thing extra into the day. For that matter, not all the stuff that has to get done gets done, either. Life is crazy and overwhelming at times (or if you're like me, maybe you feel more like it is only calm and peaceful at times and crazy the rest of the time!). It's easy to get distracted by all the stuff going on, and wander away from what's really important: "After the Feast was over, while His parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Thinking He was in their company, they traveled on for a day." (Luke 2:43 & 44a) Just like Mary and Joseph, we very easily find ourselves walking off and leaving the Savior behind. And also like them,...

" But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers. " (Luke 22:32) So often, we are given the impression that a true Christian has a faith that is never shaken. To be a true believer , someone God can use for great things, you have to be someone who is walking forward on the right path at all times, never distracted or sidetracked or a bit lost. It seems tied in to the same train of thought that says a Christian should never question God, something I've come to disagree with (you can read my thoughts on that over here ). There's this guy in the Bible, though, who seems to go against just about every description of a Christian that we cling to so faithfully. In the Scriptures he comes across as impulsive, hotheaded, and a bit short-fused. At the end of the Last Supper, we see him arguing with Jesus. In the garden, he cuts a guy's ear off. While Jesus us being questioned by Caiaphas, this...

"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value." ~Albert Einstein One of the definitions of success is, "the gaining of fame or prosperity." Value has a lot of definitions, but there are 2 that stand out to me: 1~ "utility or merit" 2~ "a principle, standard, or quality considered worthwhile or desirable" The world, it seems, holds success high above value. Too often people--and probably men especially--are judged on how famous they are or how much money they have managed to accumulate. By those standards, Pop wouldn't rate very highly. His name isn't known around the world; there aren't thousands of people who would recognize his picture. His bank account has never been one of those at risk o not being covered by the FDIC--the paycheck flows back out to pay the bills pretty quickly. By the world's standards, he probably wouldn't be considered a success. But a man of value? That's a v...

I haven't written here in a while, and for that I have to say sorry. I've gotten wrapped up in other things the past couple of weeks, namely the release of a book that has been a long time in coming and which now sits on my shelf--an actual book, in print, with my name on the cover. I am beyond excited to see it, though to be honest it still doesn't really seem true even when I look up at the bookshelf across the room from my chair in the living room. It fits with the other paperbacks there, but at the same time it doesn't. Because inside is me. It's fiction, a fantasy, but it is me just as much as if I had been telling my life story in its pages. Other people may not see it, but every word has a little piece of me hidden inside. Every line is a glimpse into my soul. I'm on every page, my strengths, weaknesses, flaws, and beliefs there for everybody to see. There's a quote from E.L. Doctorow that says, " Writers are not just people who sit down...

As those of you who know me (or have read very many of my posts here know) realize, the things I post on this blog aren't always the easiest things for me to share with other people. I'm a pretty private person, but this blog was started out of obedience--and sometimes (who am I fooling? most of the time would be better there) obedience is hard. As you may also know, at my core I'm a writer. I study physics and raise 2 kids and drive my husband batty and have no idea what I'm going to end up doing in life, but one other thing that makes me who I am is the fact that I have to constantly be pouring something out on paper. And yes, most of my writing is done with paper and ink. There's still just something so impersonal about a computer that makes me resort to the old fashioned way of writing. All that has been said as an introduction to this: there is another side to my writing. The stuff I post here is deeply personal and very much non-fiction. That is a wond...

Memorial Day is Monday, and I've spent all week trying to figure out what to write. I've started and deleted this post multiple times now, a couple of times trying to just write and let the words come on their own. That usually works for me--writing has always been cathartic and I've never really had to force it (with the exception of one chapter I skipped over in my story , but that's a bit different). I start writing and the words seem to flow on their own, usually leading me somewhere I didn't even realize I was trying to reach. For some reason, though, I just haven't been able to do that this time. I guess I'm struggling with just how to put my feelings about Memorial Day into words. That never used to be a problem. Like most people, this holiday used to simply be the start of summer. It was the first long weekend that everyone could spend at the lake, despite the still somewhat chilly water. That was in Arkansas, mind you--the water up here would b...