Friday, April 13, 2012

where is your jerusalem?

i have a note saved on my phone.
"where is my jerusalem?"

i don't remember exactly when i wrote it. i did manage to find the verse i read before i put it in my phone, though: "and now, compelled by the Spirit, i am going to jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there." acts 20:22

i remember reading that verse and feeling like God was talking to me through it. i thought, "aha! that must mean God has some big change in store for me, somewhere He is going to take me where i will be working for Him." at the time, i just knew that meant grad school (which, of course, didn't work out like i had planned).

today, while i was trying to figure out what to write on here, the words of that note ran through my head. it took me quite a while to find that verse in acts--for some reason i kept trying to find it somewhere in the old testament (yeah, reading it now it is obviously from paul. for some reason, though, i kept trying to make it a command from an angel instead).

for right now, i think i know where my jerusalem is.

it's funny. yesterday i got the official letter from utoledo about grad school (including a tuition scholarship--huge, amazing blessing!), so you would think that i would see toledo as my obvious jerusalem.
the thing is, that's not what's happening.

instead, i think God showed me my jerusalem when He somehow managed to convince me to start pouring out my thoughts on this blog.

that's right--you all are my jerusalem.
i felt led to you all, those who take the time to listen to my ramblings here.

what probably made me realize that more, though, is the fact that i have no idea what will happen to me here.
i don't know what, if anything, will come from these ramblings, from me pouring out the stuff i would normally keep to myself.
i've wanted to use my writing for God in some way, though i never would have imagined this would be the way (me, a blogger? come on...).

seems like, for some reason, i never would have imagined most of the things that have happened in my life, so why would this be any different? i guess it's just that crazy desire to have control that i keep clinging to...i'm sure there'll be more about that later.

i do know, though, that right now, no matter what else is going on in my life or where we may be, that this is where i'm supposed to be.

i hope you agree :0)

where is your jerusalem?

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