even in abandonment

 While I know I can't speak for everyone, but I think it's pretty safe to say that there will come a point in every Christian's life when they feel abandoned by God. That may be shocking to say--after all, we all know all the promises that tell us that God is always with us, that He will never leave us. Even when you are absolutely convinced of the validity of the promises of God, though, there can be times when those promises don't feel true.

Being disappointed with God or feeling abandoned by Him is something that it seems the Christian community hushes up and sweeps under the carpet as if it is some dirty secret that shouldn't be mentioned. If we feel like we are distant from God, we must somehow have lost our faith. Or at the very least, in "church talk" (or maybe just "Southern Baptist talk", I don't know) we're back-slidden.

We ignore those feeling in ourselves--push them down and try to suppress the slightest twinge. When others say something, we talk big about how we know God will work everything out and how we can "just trust Him".

Here's the thing, though. We actually have the ultimate guide to how to deal with feeling abandoned. It isn't a sin--if it was, Jesus wasn't sinless. Because as He was hanging on the cross, Jesus felt abandoned.

Kind of a big deal breaker, right?

It isn't wrong to feel like God has abandoned you. It isn't a sin to feel like you're alone in the hard times.

So now that we have that out of the way, let's look at what we can learn about dealing with that feeling from our Savior who dealt with it as well.

1. It's okay to cry out and ask God why.
I'm sure you're familiar with Jesus's words: "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" Which means, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" Too often, we're told we can't question God. Why is that? Is He too weak or insecure to handle it? Will He second guess what He's got planned if we dare to ask Him why?

God already knows your thoughts, so trying to keep your feelings quiet, not voicing the questions screaming relentlessly in your head, doesn't do anything but hurt you. He knows what you're thinking, so it's not going to surprise Him to hear it. He's not going to be caught off guard and He's not going to strike you down. God knows our humanity limits our perceptions, so He knows that we can't see the big picture. We can't step outside of time and space to look ahead and see just why it is we go through all the crazy things we go through in this life. We can't know all the ways He's working behind the scenes. We can't have all the answers all the time.

At the same time, He knows that we crave those answers. We were created as caretakers and seekers of truth, but most importantly we were created to live in communion with Him. When sin entered the picture and we could no longer walk with Him in the cool of the Garden of Eden, He knew our hearts would break time and time again over the separation we feel. He doesn't expect us to keep all of those feelings bottled up and somehow "secret" from Him. In fact, it's incredibly foolish of us to think we can. Otherwise the Psalmist was wrong when he wrote,

"You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar."
(Psalm 139:1-2)

 2. Even then, point to God.
Jesus's words on the cross, while powerful enough when taken on their own, are much more powerful when you look at where they came from. Those words that show His anguish--the words of a Son who feels abandoned by His Father--are a direct quote from Psalm 22:

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
    Why are you so far from saving me,
    so far from my cries of anguish?
My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
    by night, but I find no rest."
(verses 1&2)

 The really incredible verse that follows this, though, is why I think Jesus chose His words as He hung there. He knew how important His words would be to His followers, His friends who were left to face a world they couldn't imagine was real. He knew that once they--we--had time to process His words, spoken in the depths of excruciating pain that most of us can never imagine, once there was time and opportunity to search out just why those words seemed so familiar, the impact would grow. As it is translated in the Complete Jewish Bible, verse 3 says:

"Nevertheless, you are holy,
enthroned on the praises of Isra’el"

 Even in the depths of agony, Jesus pointed to the Eternal God of Israel. He spoke of the God who is holy, despite the circumstances in our lives. As He is in everything else, Jesus is the One we should strive to emulate when we are overwhelmed by the things of this world that break us down. No matter our feelings, we know God's promises are true. We know His word is true, even when (especially when?) it tells us that our heart is deceitful above all else. So in those times when our hearts are crying out that God has left us, we can still turn to His promises and know that He is holy. In those times, in the darkest moments, we can still point to Him.