Dear God...

 I know I should trust You. I know Your promises are true. I know You are ultimately in control of everything happening in this world. Sometimes, though, it's just so hard. Even though I know it never works out when I do, there's still a part of me that wants to try to control all the things. I look at the world around me and see it spinning out of control in a way I never would have imagined seeing just a few years ago. My nature is to try to reach out and stabilize everything I can, to attempt to keep "me and mine" from being thrown off-kilter. I start thinking that if I can just do enough, plan enough, and prepare enough, I'll be able to hold things in place for the people I love.

It's not like I don't know better. I've watched some of my best laid plans go up in smoke. I've tried desperately to cling to things and had them slip through my fingers. I've begged and pleaded for You to just do things the way I expect only to sit back in disbelief when I see the way they turn out--very seldom the way I thought they would.

But when I'm honest, the best things that have happened in my life have been the things that didn't go the way I planned. My life looks so much different right now than anything I ever planned--because Your plans are always so much more. More everything, really: more scary, more intense, more beautiful, more risky, more fitting, more challenging, more perfect.

God, in the midst of all the spinning help me to let go of all the things I'm trying to hold in place. Instead, I want to hold onto You. Because no matter how much this world is thrown off balance or how much the earthly foundations are shaken, You never move. You never change. You aren't surprised by the things that catch me off guard. You are faithful.

"Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief."