life. faithful.

We had a wonderful time Friday, with our family over for bbq chicken and just a general get-together. That's one of the things I've most been looking forward to with our move to this new place. In the past, we've either been too far away or in too small a place to have everybody over, so it's a blessing to be able to invite our family out and actually have room for everybody. All weekend, though, something was off. I couldn't quite put my finger on it; I was spending time with my family, watching my kids play with baby cousins and baby ducks. We were laughing and chatting and making plans to build a big deck on the front of the house. We have been relaxing in the beauty of the Ozarks--wandering by the creek, looking at the hills, and seeing the lightning bugs. It wasn't until last night that I realized what it was--I was missing my brother. It crossed my mind for a fleeting moment Friday, while I was getting food ready for everybody. I was walking thr...

So, somehow it seems fitting that I got lost in the busy-ness of the day yesterday and missed posting about Bonnie Gray's new book, Whispers of Rest, on launch day. That definitely wasn't my intention; I was going to be on top of things and make sure I did just what needed to be done exactly when I needed to do it. Because, you see, that's how I want to present myself to the world. I want everybody to see that I have it all together, that I accomplish what I set out to do. I want to be seen as capable, dependable, and reliable. I want people to see the well-developed persona that I've put together, that one that can handle anything and everything that gets thrown my way. As much as I want people to see me that way, I also try to show God that same mask. I posted a while back about Bonnie's first book, Finding Spiritual Whitespace . If you haven't read it, it comes highly recommended. I read it quickly, devouring every page. I wrote in the margins, und...

We just bought a farm (which will lead to a lot of posts in the future, I'm sure...), and there's a little creek that runs through it. Actually, it's a couple of creeks that come together. Normally it's shallow, with water trickling over the rocks and moving gently down the creekbed. At one point, it ducks underground and flows there for a while before it comes back out of the rock right at the gate to our driveway. Lately, though, our beautiful little corner of the world has been pretty soggy. We got close to a foot of rain in just a few days. Water has been everywhere—the rivers have swollen out of their beds, filling fields and sweeping over bridges. We had water running through our yard, pouring down the hill, and overflowing our ponds. There were waterfalls falling where water hadn't even been flowing, rolling over rocks and around trees. We cross 5 different low water bridges before we reach our driveway, most of which aren'...

Arkansas right now is judging evaluating teachers through a system called "TESS." They say it stands for "Teacher Excellence and Support System," but I'm not so sure I believe them. This system (that's supposed to be there to support teachers) is split into 4 domains: Planning & Preparation Classroom Environment Instruction Professional Responsibilities D1 & D4 then are split into 6 subcategories, and D2 & D3 each have 5. On each little subcategory, teachers are rated as Unsatisfactory, Basic, Proficient, or Distinguished. So to recap: 22 things to be rated on, with scores from 1-4. I perused the Arkansas Department of Education website for a few minutes to get some data for this and found a slew of powerpoint presentations. 22 of them, actually, with an average of 30 slides per topic. All designed to explain to me exactly how to be seen as a "Distinguished" teacher. All those categories are really good goals. Of course I...

Life is just plain crazy sometimes (right now, for sure), and I haven't gotten the chance to put more than a couple of sentences together in what seems like ages. Believe me when I say that it's adding to the insanity for me--Nathan has said many times that writing is my therapy, the thing that keeps me sane. I'm a word person, but I'm not a big talker. That changes if you know me really well (or if it's really late at night...there's something about that time that makes my defenses come down), but for the most part I would rather do my talking on paper. My mind is a chaotic, jumbled place, with totally unrelated thoughts bumping into the thoughts I actually want to have and getting all mixed in together. You see, I think sometimes my mouth moves too fast for my brain and the words come out before I have a chance to really think about them, and then they come out all jumbled. When I write, though, I guess there's more processing time between my head and m...

"Fragmented, my self knows no peace. I cannot remember what it's like to be happy. 'Failed,' I say to myself. 'My hope fails in the face of what the Eternal One has done.' Grievous thoughts of affliction and wandering plagued my mind-- great bitterness and gall. Grieving, my soul thinks back; these thoughts cripple, and I sink down. Gaining hope, I remember and wait for this thought: How enduring is God's loyal love; the Eternal has inexhaustible compassion. Here they are, every morning new! Your faithfulness, God, is is broad as the day. Have courage, for the Eternal is all that I will need. My soul boasts, ' Hope in God; just wait. ' It is good. The Eternal One is good to those who expect Him, to those who seek Him wholeheartedly. It is good to wait quietly for the Eternal to make things right again." ~Lamentations 3:17-26 So often, the Christian life is preached as being one that makes people "h...

No matter which side of the issue you're on, you should read Melissa Ohden's book, You Carried Me. I just finished this book, and it's definitely worth your time. I received the book in exchange for an honest, unbiased review, so the words here are entirely my own opinion. Melissa Ohden always knew she was adopted, but she found out as a young teen that there was more to her story than she knew--she was the survivor of a botched saline abortion. I can't even begin to imagine what that would be like. Her story starts at a point where a lot of stories have ended, a baby not meant to survive. Where her story goes from there, though, is hard to imagine. So hard, in fact, that she's been accused of making up her story. Melissa's book--her life, the good and the bad, poured out on paper--is a story of hurt, betrayal, loss, and confusion. At the same time, though, it is a story of of healing, forgiveness, mercy, and grace. The writing isn't neces...