life. faithful.

  Welcome to 2025! Through the years, I've joined a group of people who have chosen to trade in the traditional New Year's resolutions. Instead, the idea is to choose one word that will stand as your theme for the year. It's what started this blog in 2012, and though I haven't chosen a word every year, it has been a steady feature most years since then. Some years, I've struggled to find a word up until January 1st. There have even been years that I've chosen a word, then started writing a post and found that a different word is stuck in my head and had to change everything. This year, though, one word has stood out for almost a month: STEWARDSHIP I can't say that it's the prettiest word...it's not like "believe" of "faithful" or "trust" or "follow" that lend themselves to flowy calligraphy. Instead, it seems business-like in my mind. I've got to admit, it isn't necessarily a word I'm super excited...

  Way back in 2012, this blog started with the "One Word" challenge . That started something I stuck with through 2020--choosing a word to be my focus for the new year. I was better at it some years than others, and in the craziness of the past few years it was something that faded into the background. This year, though, I felt the desire to find my one word again. Choosing a word has been easier some years than others. There were years when I struggled for weeks and others where a word just kind of fell into my lap. This year, it wasn't the word that first popped into my head, but a verse: "It is better to take refuge in ADONAI than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in ADONAI than to trust in princes." (Psalm 118:8&9) 2024 is an election year here in the US. The ugly commercials and commentary are already out there--it seems like it has been unending since the 2020 election, to be honest. Now is the time of extravagant promises that we all know w...

So, I had this post all written up about my one word for 2020. I only had a couple more sentences to add, and then I was going to hit the publish button. It was fitting--a strong word, one that would add to my "I can do it myself" mentality that I've had pretty much since birth. But God. He has this way of stepping right in the middle of my plans. It probably sounds horrible to admit, but it gets really frustrating at times. You see, I (probably not unlike you) like things to go the way I have them all mapped out in my head. I'm an analytical person, so every decision I make is researched and planned and debated before it ever gets put into play. I consider all the logistics and make sure that I'm making the best decision that will work out best for anyone and everyone involved...or so I like to think. If I'm being honest, it's more that I just want to be in control. Or maybe it's that I want to look like I'm in control when everything insi...

"You just have to believe." Just. It's a tiny word with big implications. Just believe . It sounds so simply--just believe, and everything will fall into place. Just believe, and it will all work out. Sometimes, though, "just" is a really big hurdle to get over. It becomes a mountain looming over me, in between me and... well, whatever lies ahead. Because it seems like that "just" is blocking my view of the road God has laid out for my future. Don't take this the wrong way. I believe. I believe in God, and I believe the promises that tell me that God planned my place in this world and in His story long before I ever drew my first breath. Sometimes, though, my prayer has to become the desperate prayer of the father in Mark 9:24. "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" It's a short prayer, but I've found that sometimes those are the most meaningful. For me, it means something along the lines of the following: Lord, ...

"Brothers and sisters, in light of all I have shared with you about God's mercies, I urge you to offer your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice to God, a sacred offering that brings Him pleasure; this is your reasonable, essential worship. Do not allow this world to mold you in its own image. Instead, be transformed from the inside out by renewing your mind. As a result, you will be able to discern what God wills and whatever God finds good, pleasing, and complete." Romans 12:1&2 Sacrifice isn't a word we really talk about any more. I know for myself, I focus on what God can do for me, the blessings He gives, and all too often forget that I'm called to sacrifice myself to Him. My life is supposed to be His to do with as He wants. All too often, though, I try to control what He does with it. I struggle with wanting to know His will for my life when I've been told pretty plainly how I'm supposed to find it: deny myself, take up my...

For a long time now, I've begged to know God's purpose for my life. My own plans have fallen through so many times--plans that I thought were God's will for my future--that sometimes I wonder if I'm going to drift through life without ever truly finding the path He wants me on (for more on that, check out Walking with Peter ). As followers of the Messiah, we hear so much about God's will. We're reminded time and again that we need to be doing His will: ~"Whoever does the will of God is My true family." ~Mark 3:35 ~"...that you will continue to mature and stand tall in the confidence that comes from knowing God's will." ~Colossians 4:12b We hear all the time about people claiming God's promise to give them the desires of their heart, but something I've been struggling with lately is knowing whether my desires are desires God has given me, or just earthly desires. In 1 Peter 4:1-2, we're told, "Since the Anointed s...

So...life. I have to tell you, sometimes I really don't understand it. Just when it seems things are headed one direction, a bend in the road suddenly reveals a road block. Sometimes a road block is an attack from the enemy, something he throws in the way to keep you from accomplishing what has been planned for you. When that's the case, it's our job to keep pushing--to find some way to break past the road block and get back on the right road. In those cases, we need to fight with everything we have to move the road block out of the way. Other times, a road block is something God puts in the road to show you that you're headed the wrong direction. When that's the case, we have to back up and figure out where we took a wrong turn so that we can get back on track. We have to stop pushing and realize that that road is being blocked for a reason. The problems start when you can't figure out which side created the road block. Sometimes, no matter how ofte...

I was talking to Pop on the phone last night and told him, "I'm not very good at this whole 'patience' thing." To his credit, he didn't laugh me off the phone for stating the obvious. You see, I've felt like life lately--for a few years now--has just had me hurry up and wait. I've never been very good at waiting. Even when I was little I would tell people to "wait real quick," because I've never been a big fan of waiting a long time. As I've seen time and time again, God's timing doesn't really fit with mine. You would think I would have a firm grasp of that concept by now, wouldn't you? The thing is, I still have to be reminded of it from time to time. I've mentioned before a sermon series my parents sent me, from Dr. Tony Evans. In one sermon, he talked about how Joseph's timing and God's timing were quite different. In Genesis 40, Joseph is in prison with Pharaoh's cupbearer and baker. They both ...

Welcome to 2015! I know I'm a little bit late...sorry about that. In fact, I haven't posted anything since the middle of November--so I guess I'll say sorry for that, too, because two months is a long time to go without writing anything on here. There's a good reason for about a month of my silence, because my parents brought us home for Christmas so I was away from the computer. Here's a glimpse of what my time there was like: I would like to say that that's my only reason for not writing lately. The thing is, there's this little matter of promising to be honest, faithful, and transparent when I write here. So I have to admit--I haven't written because I feel like I've lost my voice. For so long, writing has been the one thing I've been able to do without fail. No matter what chaos or confusion was swimming around in my mind, I could pick up a pen and get everything out. Even though it didn't change anything, just being able to pu...

**First, congratulations to (drumroll, please)... Sabrina ! Thanks to random.org, your comment was selected as the winner :0) Shoot me an email at ajkilbourn(at)hotmail(dot)com...you know all the usual tricks here to keep the bots from spamming me nonstop! We'll connect and figure out just how I can make your word "intentional" into something you can look at as a reminder this year.** And now, the rest of the story... My word last year was faithful, and if you look back at my introduction to that word a year ago you'll see that one of the first stories that popped into my head was Peter stepping out of the boat in faith, amidst the crashing waves. It seemed Peter kept popping up after that, too...I guess maybe I'm drawn to those hard-headed, passionate, stubborn guys...but I digress. This year I struggled to find a word for 2013. I read other "One Word" posts, hoping maybe somebody else's word would jump out at me. When that didn't...

How many times growing up were you told to be a leader? Our society seems focused on being the leader, the one out in front all the time. We are taught to develop our leadership skills we pick team captains from childhood we strive for promotions we work hard to be at the front of the pack. I'm definitely no exception--I worked hard to become captain of my cheer squad from middle school on through my senior year, I studied to be at the head of my class and then get into the Honors Program at Tech when I started college (the first time around , anyways!), I developed the skills that would get me into grad school. I was taught to lead instead of just going along with the crowd. What if there's something else being asked of me, though? Hang with me here--if you're like me, this concept is a bit of a hard pill to swallow. What if, instead of being pushed to become a leader, I'm being asked to simply... Follow. That is my word for 2013. It found me unexpect...