Skip to main content

my letter to new moms, or "you aren't really failing at this mothering thing"

so, i've decided that maybe that whole "series" thing isn't for me...seeing as how i didn't manage to keep up with it at all! ...sorry about that...

instead, i'm going back to just writing.
definitely less stressful on my part, and hopefully more entertaining on your end of things :0)

so, with that said...

mother's day is sunday.
i am by no means an expert on mothering (i'm sure you're surprised that my 5 years haven't made me an expert...ha!)

in honor of mother's day i'm writing a couple of letters. this first one is to new moms out there, so if you know any send them my way, okay? also, for all those moms with way more experience than i have, feel free to add to this letter. i would love to hear what you have to say!

*******
dear worn out, exhausted, beautiful new mom,

you may not believe it, but you really are amazing.
really--i mean it!
i know how hard it gets, how often you look at that little one and think:
i have no idea what i'm doing!
i'm never going to get this kid through to adulthood...
where did all my time go?
how can such a little person create such a huge mess?!
i wonder if i'll be driving the poor kid to therapy...
i sure wish they would genetically engineer vegetables to taste like chocolate.
God, are You sure You want to trust me with this whole little person?!
surely she can't have all my bad traits...

sometimes you get caught off guard by how much life has changed:
will i ever be alone in the bathroom again?
has it really been a week since i took a shower?!
if surewould be nice to have one shirt without baby stains...
when did i start talking about poopy diapers?
i never knew i could survive on such little sleep...
if another human being touches me, i'm going to scream!

in the middle of all that,
stop. take a breath.

no, you're not doing everything perfectly (as i'm sure everyone from well-meaning family members to complete strangers are quick to point out). 
you know what?
i'm willing to bet that there has never,
in the history of the world,
been a mother who did. mary didn't even have a perfect mothering record--she lost her kid for 3 days--and she was dealing with the Perfect Son!

you're going to mess up from time to time. your precious little one is going to break down in the middle of the grocery store and other people are going to give you "the look."
you're going to go out in public in clothes wet from baby pee...and it will happen on the one day you bothered to put on real clothes.
you'll lose your temper.
you'll slip up and say something you shouldn't.
you'll resort to the "sniff test" to find a shirt to wear because all that's been washed in the past month is kid clothes.
you're going to have to step away from time to time, just to keep your sanity.

through all that,
stop. be still.

it will be okay if the kitchen is a mess because somebody wanted to cuddle on the couch--and you fell asleep.
someday, you really will get a bathroom break by yourself.
that little one really will turn out okay, despite your imperfections and mistakes.
there will be at least one time that someone tells you how well-behaved your little one is...
...it may be followed 5 seconds later by an explosion of some sort from said little one, but it still counts!
one day you won't have to serve macaroni and cheese with every meal.

you are an amazing, beautiful mother, and you really are doing a good job!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

a little bit of physics (don't be scared!)

"by faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible." hebrews 11:3 this is one of my favorite verses--i call it my physics verse because to me it is tying together my faith and subatomic particles. no, really--i mean it! when i first started working on a degree in physics and a minor in biology, somebody (i don't remember who anymore, but it seems like it was somebody on some kind of discussion board...) told me that i would forget about all that dumb "christianity" (<--spell checker doesn't like that. hmm...) stuff. once i had been educated, i would see that faith was superstition and a pointless waste of time, something for the ignorant, uneducated masses.  while i'm sure that is the conclusion some people come to, it sure wasn't for me.                          ...

one word for 2013

How many times growing up were you told to be a leader? Our society seems focused on being the leader, the one out in front all the time. We are taught to develop our leadership skills we pick team captains from childhood we strive for promotions we work hard to be at the front of the pack. I'm definitely no exception--I worked hard to become captain of my cheer squad from middle school on through my senior year, I studied to be at the head of my class and then get into the Honors Program at Tech when I started college (the first time around , anyways!), I developed the skills that would get me into grad school. I was taught to lead instead of just going along with the crowd. What if there's something else being asked of me, though? Hang with me here--if you're like me, this concept is a bit of a hard pill to swallow. What if, instead of being pushed to become a leader, I'm being asked to simply... Follow. That is my word for 2013. It found me unexpect...

God's blessing?

There's a verse in 1 Peter that I hadn't really noticed before. It's funny how that keeps happening to me...books and chapters I've read many times, on pages with underlining or notes, but all of a sudden I read a verse that I've somehow missed. This time it was while we were studying at church Sunday morning: "For the time for judgment has come, and it is beginning with the household of God. If it is starting with us, what will happen to those who have rejected God’s good news?" (1 Peter 4:17) I've been listening to Pastor Allen Jackson a lot lately. I highly recommend that you do the same, but I'll warn you first--he's probably going to step on your toes. One thing he has been pointing out a lot lately? We as professed Christians can't blame the decay in our nation on "them". Our nation is in free-fall because we--those who claim to be followers of Jesus--have failed. We have let a nation founded on biblical truth and biblical...