Friday, August 31, 2012

I had a meltdown last night.

When I picked the kids up from daycare yesterday I let them know that I had some homework I had to do and that I would need them to help me out by playing together and letting me have some time to work.

Actually, I told them I had some really yucky homework to do.
That prompted a discussion with Raiden on how no, homework isn't really yucky, but the work I had to do was really hard so I just used that word to describe it.
Not the best way to talk about homework to your child who is just about to start school, I know. oops.

So, when we got home what did the kids do? Basically, anything besides what I had asked them to do. They had dinner at daycare, but they asked for popcorn when we got home. Thinking that would keep them occupied for a bit, I made some.

We don't do microwave popcorn anymore.
No, I don't have anything against it.
It's just that I can buy a bag of kernels for $1.50 that will last a lot longer than the box of microwave popcorn, and since I'm admittedly cheap I just can't make myself buy the microwave stuff anymore. Besides, we can make ours taste any way we want when we pop it on the stovetop (throwing some sugar in with the kernels makes really great kettle corn).

The popcorn lasted about 5 minutes.
I still have a big popcorn bowl full of it sitting in the living room.

Then, they decided to fight about...well, I'm not entirely sure, but then again I don't think they knew either.

This went on for quite a while, so I decided it was time to clean up the bedroom before getting ready for bed. This task, instead of taking the maybe 15 minutes it should have taken, stretched out for about and hour.

Okay, so I know this is the pot calling the kettle black, but how hard is it to throw a bunch of toys into a box?!?

So now we get to bedtime. Conan asked me (without whining or crying, which was wonderful) if I would brush his teeth for him. So now both kids have clean mouths and have taken their gummy bear vitamins and are ready for bed.

Gummy bear vitamins are great.
The kids like taking them so much that I don't have to remind them--they ask for them...multiple times a day...

So now we head into the bedroom and I get both kids in bed. Apparently, though, at some point while they were in their room they decided to rearrange how the cd player and the nightlight were plugged in, so this prompted a discussion on the dangers of electricity and how they aren't supposed to touch outlets (something I thought we had straightened out quite a while ago) and how they won't get to have music in their room at night if they touch the plugs again.

Finally, both kids are in bed.

It is 9 pm and I have 2 homework assignments due in 12 hours...neither of which I have started because I was working on the homework for a different class that was due by 11:59:59.9999 pm Thursday night.

Homework, by the way, that I can distinctly remember doing in my undergrad modern physics, yet can't for the life of me remember how to do. And of course my modern physics book is pretty much the only undergrad physics book and notebook I don't have with is, instead, in a box on pop and mom's farm. 
Hope the cows and chickens are enjoying their education...

Nathan gets off at 9, so he sends me a text asking how it is going. I, of course, am a bit stressed out because I haven't gotten to start my homework...and I don't operate well at night, so I'm already starting to get 9... wow, I'm fun!

By the time Nathan gets home, I've been attempting my homework for about 30 minutes. So far, it hasn't done me any good.

My poor husband walks in the door to me saying I can't do this stuff, that I'm in way over my head and I'm not going to make it through, that I don't understand anything I'm working on.

To help me out he quietly goes into the kitchen to wash the dishes I started the night before and never finished.
After his 9 hours of work at Cabella's.

After a few minutes I hear a yell from the kitchen.
A glass broke while Nathan was washing it, and he now has a big chunk missing from the outside of the middle joint of his right pinky finger.
So, I take a break from worrying about one thing (homework) to attempt to play doctor for his bleeding finger.

You would be surprised how deep a cut can be on the outside of your pinky, right at the joint.

By the time all of this has happened, I've decided I'm just going to read chapter 2 of my Goldstein Classical Mechanics book to get ready for the quiz I'm sure will take place at 9 am.

The only problem is, I read each sentence multiple times and still don't understand what it says. I even pull out my undergrad book to try and make some connections (I've already used it more than I used it my entire semester of undergrad classical mechanics).

So, deciding I'm done and that it is bedtime I give up and put everything away.

Nathan follows me to bed, not really sure what to say to me. He listens to me while I cry and say once again that I can't do this, then simply tells me that he knows I'll do my best and that he's here for me no matter what happens.

Have I mentioned how wonderful he is about all these crazy dreams I have? 

I finally go to sleep...
and dream about the dumb homework.

This God that we have, though, has a way of putting things back into perspective and me back onto an even keel. 
When I flipped to the front of my Classical Mechanics book this morning, Goldstein's note included a reference to Daniel 2:23.
I looked it up and found the verses I'm going to have to write out and frame for my desk:

"He said, 'Praise the name of God forever and ever, for He has all wisdom and power. He controls the course of world events; He removes kings and sets up other kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the scholars. He reveals deep and mysterious things and knows what lies hidden in darkness, though He is surrounded by light. I thank and praise You, God of my ancestors, for You have given me wisdom and strength.'" 
 ~Daniel 2:20-23a

*You may have noticed that I've started using normal capitalization.
I like the idea of being all "e.e. cummings"-like, but I just couldn't take it anymore :0)


  1. Ah, Mandy, I often contemplate graduate school. (I was even enrolled in a grad class this semester and dropped it because I didn't think the class would be worth the time I was going to put into it.) But after reading a post like yours, I think maybe I'm ok at the moment being just a working momma instead of a working and class taking momma. I know I would have had a breakdown in your situation as well. Knowing how you did in your undergrad stuff though, I'm sure you'll get this all figured out and look back on it and wonder why you thought it was so difficult.


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