life. faithful.

When did we lose sight of what it really means to be thankful? Why have we made the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas about accumulating stuff, about having the biggest and brightest and best? We seem to have lost sight of what this season is supposed to be-- Thanksgiving has become nothing more than a placeholder on the calendar, almost a joke of a day for most of our country. It is supposed to be the day we remember how blessed we are (and we are blessed beyond measure) and how God has provided for us, but instead it is often used as a planning day for Black Friday shopping. Now, many stores are even starting their sales on Thursday night. They don't even list the day as "Thanksgiving" on their ads. Then there's the Christmas season. Forget the idea of the secular world's "war on Christmas," because we do a good enough job of that on our own. We stress and fret and overdo everything, searching for the perfect gifts--all the while pushing the...

I thought I was alone in the dark, lost. It was cold and lonely there, in that waiting place. No matter how much I craned my neck--no matter how hard I squinted my eyes against the dark--I simply couldn't see God. Like Job, I wanted to say, "My days fly faster than a weaver's shuttle. They end without hope." (Job 7:6) It's easy to feel alone in the dark, especially when it feels like that darkness is around you because you're stuck down deep in a hole.No matter which direction you turn, there just doesn't seem to be a way out. And sometimes, it seems like the harder you fight to get out of that hole, the deeper you get. It's almost like quicksand, sucking you in faster the more you struggle against it. The thing is, I was reminded in a blog post from Ann Voskamp that the dark waiting place isn't unusual. In fact,it could even be called an integral part of faith: ~Moses's mom waited for her baby to be pulled from the river. ~Noah ...

Happy Birthday, Sarah! According to my mom, she walked in one night as I was saying my prayers just in time to hear me asking God to send me a baby sister... The result of that prayer was a baby born October 17, 1989. I can remember Pop bringing her out, all wrapped up in a receiving blanket and asking Michael and me if we thought it was a boy or a girl. My prayers were answered with a brand new sister... Through the years, she drove me crazy. We shared a room for my elementary school years, sponge painted pink... She wrinkled her nose when she smiled, a dimple showing in her cheek... That little girl who annoyed me beyond belief when we were little has grown into one of my best friends... A beautiful, strong, amazing wife and mother to the little girl who is quite possibly the best niece on the planet... I love you, kiddo :) Happy 26th!

I was greeted a couple of mornings ago by a word of warning from my sister. Her post went right along with a series of sermons a friend from high school--a pastor now--has been giving at his church lately. In Sarah's own words (and yes, I got her permission first!): "I believe there is danger in taking a verse out of context. Every verse was put in its place for a reason, picked by God himself. If you remove that verse and use it to fit your own purpose you have changed the very essence of it." by Sarah It seems like such a common thing lately--people pick and choose which verses they want to put on display for one reason or another. I guess that's been happening since the Scriptures were first written down, but is sure seems prevalent now. No matter which side of an issue someone is on , it seems like they twist verses to show how Jesus would be on their side. People dismiss the verses that make them uncomfortable or that don't fit in line with the po...

I have to confess something to you. I've been a wimp lately. I've been turning the news off most of the time. because I'm tired of listening to it. I'm tired of hearing about heartbreak, wars, and death. I' tired of hearing about the culture wars going on right now. I'm tired of hearing politicians bash each other (and we're still over a year away from the election--good grief!). I'm tired of evil, and of people trying to pass evil off as good. I've stopped following people on facebook simply because I was frustrated by what they were posting. Basically I'm tired of all of it, and my solution has been to just ignore it. Pop called me on it a while back--he has a tendency to do that. He doesn't do it in an obtrusive way. If you know him, you know that he has the ability to put the equivalence of a lecture into a single question. I was talking about the facebook thing and some post I didn't agree with, and he asked me what I said i...

Ahh, life... it's just downright crazy at times, isn't it? Right now, it feels like it's crazier than it has been in a long time. To be honest, there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything I have to do, let alone the things I want to get done or the things I feel like I need to do to stay same (namely, writing). Just in case anyone was wondering,  I'm teaching Math 7, Math 8, two classes of Geometry, Algebra I, and Algebra II this year. That is keeping me busier than I ever imagined possible, but I have to tell you that I'm starting to see all those kids as my own. And I have to say, my new favorite phrase is when one of the kids says, "Is that all you have to do?" after they realize that something in math isn't as hard as they had thought. Nathan and I are also the new Junior class sponsors, which entails working a concession stand (manned by high school kids) at the home Razorback games. And yes, that's as chaotic as it sounds. ...

Today is always such a strange day for me. Today marks 11 years since my brother was killed in Iraq. 11 years--more than a decade without being picked on by the guy who always told me it was his job to keep me humble and to teach me how to throw a punch. Life has changed so much; I'm not even the same person I was the last time I saw him in person, 3 January 2004--my wedding day. I can't help but wonder what he would think about the person I am today, and I sure wish I could watch my kids play with their uncle. There are moments in life that change you forever, moments that happen in a heartbeat yet affect your entire outlook. Sometimes those moments are so dramatic that it seems like the rest of the world should be changed, too. I think that's one of the hardest things to deal with--the fact that the rest of the world simply goes on. At times, it seems like it's going on without you. There are lessons in everything in life, even though sometimes it takes years...

So...life. I have to tell you, sometimes I really don't understand it. Just when it seems things are headed one direction, a bend in the road suddenly reveals a road block. Sometimes a road block is an attack from the enemy, something he throws in the way to keep you from accomplishing what has been planned for you. When that's the case, it's our job to keep pushing--to find some way to break past the road block and get back on the right road. In those cases, we need to fight with everything we have to move the road block out of the way. Other times, a road block is something God puts in the road to show you that you're headed the wrong direction. When that's the case, we have to back up and figure out where we took a wrong turn so that we can get back on track. We have to stop pushing and realize that that road is being blocked for a reason. The problems start when you can't figure out which side created the road block. Sometimes, no matter how ofte...

It seems I've been doing this a lot lately--staring at a blank piece of paper (or screen in this case) with no idea what to write. I know I need to write. I can feel something inside me withering because the words haven't been coming lately. Every time I try to, though, I just get...lost. The words seem to be getting stuck somewhere, and I'm not sure if it's the wiring in my head, heart, or hands that keeps getting crossed. Maybe it's a mix of all three. In all honesty, I'm at a bit of a loss right now. A loss for words, but that's not all. I feel a bit lost in general. Does that come as a surprise? It has to me, to be sure. 11 and 1/2 years into my marriage, after 2 kids and 2 degrees, and now after we've moved back "home" to the hills of Arkansas I feel a bit like I'm wandering aimlessly with no idea what direction I should be going. You would think that after writing a devotional all about following the Way when you can't ...

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." ~Michah 6:8 Mercy. In the dictionary and concordance in the back of my Bible, it says mercy is forgiveness or compassion. In another sense, though, we have an opportunity to "love mercy" in a very tangible way. If you've never heard of the Mercy House, you should hop over there and check it out. To give you the short version, the Mercy House is a place for young ladies who are about to become mothers. They move into Rehema House (Rehema=Mercy in Swahili) where they are loved by beautiful servants of God, and where they are shown that their lives and the lives of their beautiful babies are full of promise because of God's love for them. It is the result of one woman (and her family) saying yes to a crazy dream God put in her heart. Now, though, God has opened doors that lead all over the world...

It feels like the world is falling apart. In all honesty, it's been falling apart since the moment sin entered the Garden. The 2nd Law of Thermodynamics says that order tends to chaos, meaning an ordered system will become disordered over time, and that's exactly what has been happening since this earth began. We've been sheltered here in the United States, to be truthful. We've had the chance to live in a country founded on belief in the Creator, started by men who knew that only God's blessings and mercy could sustain such a country. But now, it seems as if our country--and those leading it--has turned its back on God. We've redefined life, marriage, love, right, and wrong, things that were never ours to define to begin with. We've accepted sin--even condoned it--in every facet of life: greed, sexual impurity, envy, deceit, gossip, arrogance, disobedience, and faithlessness are all commonplace (see Romans 1:24-32 ). As we look around at our country an...

Well, it's been a while...I've been pretty well silent this month, haven't I? To those of you who check in with me from time to time, I apologize for my silence. Honestly, there are a lot of big changes happening right now in our family, so things have been crazy! Just as a quick catch up... We're in the process of moving from Ohio back to Arkansas, where Nathan and I will both be jumping in to the world of education. Him in history, me in math.  We're working on figuring out how to make all of our earthly stuff fit into a house roughly half the size of the one we're moving out of. We're teaching our kids what it means to live in a small town where everybody knows everybody else instead of in a big city where people tend to avoid interaction. I'm sitting through 3 weeks of learning how to teach (after getting my MSE in education and physics...and teaching high school for a year...and teaching college labs for 2 years...but I digress). I'...

You know that I'm still mad at you sometimes, right? Mad at you for leaving me behind, despite all the times I insisted you wait for me when we were growing up. I thought it was just some crazy reaction that I was totally by myself with, but I'm not the only one who has said that if her brother walked through the front door today she would hug his neck and then punch him. And since you taught me how to punch, you know that wouldn't be one of those wimpy punches, either. Sometimes, I still let myself believe for a few minutes that you aren't really gone . When it gets too tough and I just don't have the strength to miss you, I let myself picture a "Bourne Identity" situation for a little while. It doesn't work for long, but sometimes it's long enough to let me swallow the lump in my throat and move forward. This week has been full of those moments. Memorial Day weekend is coming up, and I don't know how to react to it. My kids--your niece ...

Songs have always had an impact on me. I have (quite literally) 45 different playlists saved on Spotify, each with its own purpose. I've had different theme songs at different times in my life, and even now when I hear one of those it brings up the memories of whatever was going on in my life at the time. There are songs I sing when I feel on top of the world and songs I sing when my heart is breaking. Whatever the emotion, I probably have a song to go along with it--happy, sad, or anything in between. Sometimes, though, a song comes to mind at a rather odd time. Take yesterday. I was mowing (it seems that something like that makes my brain start working, too ) and two songs kept running through my head on repeat. They were both songs I've most likely known for as long as I've been able to talk, thanks to my mom. They were also both songs I haven't thought of or heard in a long time. "He's still working on me to make me what I ought to be. It took Him...

I was talking to Pop on the phone last night and told him, "I'm not very good at this whole 'patience' thing." To his credit, he didn't laugh me off the phone for stating the obvious. You see, I've felt like life lately--for a few years now--has just had me hurry up and wait. I've never been very good at waiting. Even when I was little I would tell people to "wait real quick," because I've never been a big fan of waiting a long time. As I've seen time and time again, God's timing doesn't really fit with mine. You would think I would have a firm grasp of that concept by now, wouldn't you? The thing is, I still have to be reminded of it from time to time. I've mentioned before a sermon series my parents sent me, from Dr. Tony Evans. In one sermon, he talked about how Joseph's timing and God's timing were quite different. In Genesis 40, Joseph is in prison with Pharaoh's cupbearer and baker. They both ...

I've grown up knowing what my family refers to as the "Sunday school answers." I grew up going to church every time the doors were opened--and even times when they weren't, because my parents had a key even before Pop became a pastor. I was in Children's Church, Sunday School, Girls in Action, Bible Drill, Kid's Choir, Acteens, Vacation Bible School, Youth Group, Summer Summer...you name it, I did it. I could sing the books of the New Testament (To this day I still have to sing them to know the order) and recite the books of the Old Testament. My Bible was underlined and highlighted. I had the 23rd Psalm and the Lord's Prayer memorized, along with countless verses. I had the head knowledge down pat. The thing is, when times get tough the head knowledge isn't enough. Now, don't get me wrong--the head knowledge is important because it helps you know where to turn. That's what makes verses pop into your head during the rough moments and ...

"When He had finished praying, Jesus left with His disciples and crossed the Kidron Valley. On the other side there was an olive grove, and He and His disciples went into it. Now Judas, who betrayed Him, knew the place, because Jesus had often met there with His disciples. So Judas came to the grove, guiding a detachment of soldiers and some officials from the chief priests and Pharisees. They were carrying torches, lanterns, and weapons. Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to Him, went out and asked them, 'Who is it you want?'      'Jesus of Nazareth,' they replied.      ' I am He ,' Jesus said. (And Judas the traitor was standing there with them.)      'When Jesus said, 'I am He ,' they drew back and fell to the ground." ~John 18:1-6 We talk a lot about the fact that Jesus was crucified, and with good reason. It was His death on the cross that saved us, His blood being shed that covered us and made us pure i...

I pulled out my quote notebook this morning (yes, I have an entire notebook dedicated to the quotes I find and love and just have to write down somewhere--doesn't everybody do that?). I was looking for a very specific quote, and I had a post planned that would fit nicely with it. The thing is, my quotes aren't organized. Kind of like in my life, physics and writing and Bible verses are all jumbled together with no real rhyme or reason. I can usually remember which side of the page a specific quote is on, but that still means I have to scan through at least half the book before I can find what I'm looking for. This morning, while looking for the Mark Twain quote I was going to write about, I came across this: The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me; Your love, O LORD, endures forever-- do not abandon the works of Your hands. ~Psalm 138:8 I've struggled a lot with not knowing what's in store for me. Here in just over a month, I'll finish my Mas...