Friday, October 12, 2018

Let go?

I'm a stubborn and highly independent person. I want to always be able to do everything myself, and I've been that way since I was little. I hate having to rely on anybody else for anything--if I'm not capable of taking care of whatever needs to be done on my own, then I make it my goal to figure out how to do it.

Sometimes that's a good thing. Sometimes, though, it gets me into trouble.

I've talked quite a bit about how I have a hard time trusting. The thing is, lately I've realized that my issue isn't with trust, exactly. Instead, what I have a hard time doing is giving up control. When things start to go wrong, I grab on a little tighter. When life knocks me for a loop and I slide down to the end of my rope, I put all my strength into holding on with everything I've got.

But what if I'm not supposed to hold on?

We drive by Rule Baptist Church on Sunday mornings, and last week this is what their sign says:

At the end of your rope
is the hem of His garment.

If you don't remember the story about the hem of Jesus' garment, here's a quick reminder: Jesus was in the middle of a crowd of people when He stopped and asked who touched Him. I'm sure the disciples thought He was being a little crazy. After all, there were people all around them. So you've got Peter (I brought him up again, I know) who opens his mouth and says, "Okay, Jesus, that's a pretty weird question. You've got this huge crowd around You, and all of them are bumping up against everybody. What do You mean, who touched You?" ...okay, so I paraphrased a bit.
Jesus, though, says, "That's not what I meant. Somebody touched Me, and I felt power flow out." ...again, a bit of a paraphrase.

So this woman speaks up. She knows she's been found out, so she steps forward and falls at Jesus' feet. She tells Him that she had been bleeding for years, and she knew that if she could just touch the hem of His robe, He could heal her.

Down in the dirt, at her lowest, she stopped trying to control everything herself. She stopped searching for the next cure, and she reached out for the hem of His robe.

Maybe, when I'm at the end of my rope, I'm not supposed to be desperately struggling to climb back up. Maybe I'm not supposed to be focusing all my strength on getting back to where I think I'm supposed to be.

Maybe, when I'm hanging by a thread and straining to maintain my grip--maybe that's when I'm supposed to let go.

Maybe I'm supposed to let go of my desperate attempt at holding on to control and reach out for the hem of His garment.

"When struck by fear, I let go,
depending securely upon You alone."
Psalm 56:3

1 comment:

  1. Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.


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