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One Word 2019--Believe

"You just have to believe."

 Just. It's a tiny word with big implications. Just believe. It sounds so simply--just believe, and everything will fall into place. Just believe, and it will all work out.

 Sometimes, though, "just" is a really big hurdle to get over. It becomes a mountain looming over me, in between me and... well, whatever lies ahead. Because it seems like that "just" is blocking my view of the road God has laid out for my future.

 Don't take this the wrong way. I believe. I believe in God, and I believe the promises that tell me that God planned my place in this world and in His story long before I ever drew my first breath. Sometimes, though, my prayer has to become the desperate prayer of the father in Mark 9:24.

"Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"

It's a short prayer, but I've found that sometimes those are the most meaningful. For me, it means something along the lines of the following:

Lord, I know all Your promises to me. I know You are faithful, and I know that Your promises can't ever fall through. I know You have a plan for my life, and I know that Your timing is perfect (even when it doesn't look anything like I think it should). I know that You are always at work in my life, even in the midst of what I see as chaos. I know You can take all my mess ups and failures and mistakes and use them to orchestrate my life, to turn it into something I could never imagine. I can look back and see how You've pulled everything together for us, how You've worked things out for us by weaving circumstances together in ways that seemed totally random and unworkable at times. I know Your plan for my life is best, and I know that You are still at work.

I believe in You, and I believe that Your words are true. And yet, sometimes my unbelief gets in the way. Sometimes, my doubts and fears creep in and make it hard for me to see all the wonderful things You've done, and that makes me question what You will do. I believe You have plans for my life, but sometimes I start to wonder if I've messed them up. I believe that Your plans are so much more perfect for me than my plans could ever be, but sometimes I wonder if I've gotten in the way and pushed my own plans so much that I've pushed Yours out of the way.

Lord, I believe--but help me to see when my unbelief is clouding the picture. Help me to realize when my doubts and fears are putting hurdles in the way. Help me to get past my focus on my own story so that I can play my role in Your story. Help me get over myself so that I can truly focus on You.

Lord, I believe; help my unbelief. 
 
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Thoughts? I would love to hear them!
~Mandy

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