life. faithful.

Dear God, I hear You--really, I do. I'm sorry that I haven't been listening, but thank You for repeating Yourself over and over (and over...) so that it finally got through my thick skull. Remember, I tend to be a " lesson from a 2x4 " girl. The subtle stuff tends to get lost on me, even though it would be a lot easier if I could just learn to hear You when You whisper. You keep telling me to let go, and I don't know why I find that so incredibly hard to do. Everything and everyone around me lately is reminding me that I need to stop worrying and start trusting. I know You're greater than anything I can imagine. I know that Your promises are true. I know all the right words and all the Sunday School answers... ...but I've realized that I must not truly know You, because I haven't been truly trusting You. If I knew You, I would know that my fears are pointless and unfounded. I would know that You have me --You've written me on the palms...

I'm a stubborn and highly independent person. I want to always be able to do everything myself, and I've been that way since I was little. I hate having to rely on anybody else for anything--if I'm not capable of taking care of whatever needs to be done on my own, then I make it my goal to figure out how to do it. Sometimes that's a good thing. Sometimes, though, it gets me into trouble. I've talked quite a bit about how I have a hard time trusting. The thing is, lately I've realized that my issue isn't with trust, exactly. Instead, what I have a hard time doing is giving up control. When things start to go wrong, I grab on a little tighter. When life knocks me for a loop and I slide down to the end of my rope, I put all my strength into holding on with everything I've got. But what if I'm not supposed to hold on? We drive by Rule Baptist Church on Sunday mornings, and last week this is what their sign says: At the end of your rope is t...