Thursday, October 25, 2018

Do I know God?

Dear God,

I hear You--really, I do. I'm sorry that I haven't been listening, but thank You for repeating Yourself over and over (and over...) so that it finally got through my thick skull.

Remember, I tend to be a "lesson from a 2x4" girl. The subtle stuff tends to get lost on me, even though it would be a lot easier if I could just learn to hear You when You whisper.

You keep telling me to let go, and I don't know why I find that so incredibly hard to do. Everything and everyone around me lately is reminding me that I need to stop worrying and start trusting.

I know You're greater than anything I can imagine. I know that Your promises are true. I know all the right words and all the Sunday School answers...

...but I've realized that I must not truly know You, because I haven't been truly trusting You.

If I knew You, I would know that my fears are pointless and unfounded. I would know that You have me--You've written me on the palms of Your hands--and there's nothing that can pull me away.

If I knew You, I would know that Your plan will be accomplished in my life (in spite of my efforts, as the case may be). I would know that Your words do what You say they will do--You aren't just speaking to hear Yourself talk.

If I knew You, I would realize that if You know when a sparrow falls, You know all the difficulties in my life. I would know that if You take the time to keep track of how many hairs I have on my head, You will keep track of me.

If I knew You, truly, I would stop wearing myself out with stress over the day-to-day struggles of my life that are so insignificant in the long run. I would stop worrying over all the things that are so far out of my control--but firmly in Your hand.

So God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for doubting Your power and Your plan. I want to know You. I want to draw close to You. I want to trust You.

*I don't own this song or the pictures...

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