Friday, April 20, 2012

a return to something i love

"real writers don't write for recognition.
they don't do it for fame,
or notoriety.

they do it because they cannot not write.

by their gifts
and under the authority
of a higher calling,
they are compelled to create.

to wonder.
to dream.
to express."
~"the writer's manifesto" by jeff goins

i don't usually read self-made ebooks, but this one intrigued me. i've read a couple of his blog posts that i really liked, and the ebook was free (big plus), so i figured i would give it a shot.

it is a 44-page pdf with just a couple of sentences on each page (the quote above takes up 2 pages), and basically it is him challenging writers to return to writing just for the love of writing.

i used to love to write.
everything. anything.

i filled notebooks on a regular basis, and i wasn't worried about what i was writing.

anything was a great excuse to write:
i got distracted easily if i tried to pray silently and it just didn't feel right praying out loud, so i wrote my prayers instead.
i got my work done in class and had nothing else to do, so i wrote.
i had something to tell a friend, so i wrote a note.

i loved writing so much that i even started making stuff up just so i would have an excuse to write (the only "finished" product from that is waiting for me to get over my nerves and try and send it to somebody, but i digress...).

most of the things i wrote never saw the light of day. they stayed safely tucked away in those notebooks where nobody would see or judge them.

lately, though, i've been putting my writing out there for people to see.
while i still feel like writing here is what God wants me to do, i've been focusing on the wrong thing in my writing:
i've been checking stats
wondering how many people are reading my words
worrying about what they think.

somewhere in the process i've lost sight of why i write:
i write because i love it 
because i wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't writing
because--though it's hard for me to say it--i feel like God has given me a gift.

i need to focus on using that gift to the best of my ability instead of worrying about what's going to come out of it.

i need to return to my First Love and the crazy passion for writing that He gave me.

what's your crazy passion, the gift God has given you?
i challenge you, if you aren't already doing it, to return to doing the thing you love simply because you love it.

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